A note for the women that are physically abused..

This website has not (and will not ever) condone physical abuse of a woman! Being submitted does not mean enduring a beating! God's daughters were not made to be punching bags! If you are being abused, get out NOW! You are DEFINATELY unequally yoked!

Now, as far as "verbal abuse" - yes that is abuse and there is a fine line between what a person should or should not take. However this site still maintains the prayerful and godly belief that, in ordinary circumstances, we can win our husbands and improve our relationship by being a godly wife. Over the next few days, I will be posting more about this.

Boot Camp Kick in the Butt Time...

I am really concerned with what I feel is a lack of respect for our husbands - not just on this list but in real life as well. I know, I know...a lot of you are thinking (or yelling at the monitor), "Well if my husband would just change this or that...if he would just do this or that...what about my feelings?" So? What about them? You cannot pick and choose what parts of the Bible to obey. You want him to change? Then YOU change. Sure, he probably was more attentive to you when you were just dating or courting but you know something? You were more attentive to his needs then too. Men are simple: they want respect from their women, they want us to love them and they want us to feed them. You have feelings - men have feelings too. They just don't express them like we do. I guarantee you (from experience) that if you start going out of your way to please him then he will walk through fire for you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Submit to your own husbands as you would submit to the Lord. If the Lord lived in your house in the flesh, and He wanted something done a certain way you would do it, wouldn't you? You'd want Him happy, right? Why don't you want your husband to be deliriously happy?!

A happy home starts with us women. I know that some of you are thinking, "Well when I do something nice for him he wonders what I am up to." Who's shame is that? Why is it that he has to wonder that? Keep doing it and eventually he will start doing it back to you. Would it really kill you to just be as nice to him as you are to people you hardly know? Your best friend from church is sick - so of course you immediately make her favorite dish (or two) and take it to her. How often do you make your husband's favorite meal for him? How often do you just tell him that you love him?

Do you really want to know why he doesn't help you around the house? Hang on to your bloomers, ladies... When he DOES do something around the house (dishes, dusting, laundry) how often do you just give him a hug and tell him thanks? How often do you complain about the way he does it or that he didn't do it the way you did it? Men are not stupid - they would rather get yelled at for not doing it at ALL then get yelled at because they didn't do it YOUR way. He is NOT you...maybe his way isn't as effective as your's but if you want it done your way then do it yourself. I do ALL the dishes and I don't complain about it - because I want them done MY way. He helps with the laundry and I don't complain about the way he does it. I thank him for doing it.

When you do a chore of his does he complain that you didn't do it HIS way? Probably not. He's just happy to not have to do it. See, that's the difference between women and men. As women, we find it hard to switch between mommy mode and wife mode. Men don't like to be nagged - a reminder is fine but shut up after that! If it needs to be done THAT badly and you are capable of doing it, then DO IT. But God made the institute of marriage first and you are doing your kids a BIG disservice if you are not respecting and caring for your man.

You like to be complimented and appreciated, don't you? Well so does he! He is a person and has feelings just like you. He might not always show them but he has them. You married him and now is the time to be his wife instead of another mother.

Lord knows I am by NO MEANS perfect - and that's why He presses me to write about it.. Because I've been there and I want to save YOU some of the fights I've been in with my husband. If it wasn't for my Jesus and my mother in law, I'd probably either be divorced (because of the fighting) or absolutely miserable. As you can tell, I don't beat around the bush about much. I am straight forward and that's that. I thought, hey my husband is a man and he is going to have to just deal with it. But Jesus pressed upon me that I don't like to be criticized all the time (especially by my husband) and my husband doesn't like it either. He has feelings too and they matter to me MORE than ANYTHING.

How about you? I hope this boot camp style, straight forward, no non-sense email has served as a wake up call to those of you that need it.

Enduring Rejection and Persecution...

Matt. 5:11-12 – “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

John 15: 18-25 – “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘ A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. If Ihad not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates Me hates My Father also. If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also hated both Me and My Father. But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.’

We’re only human. We all want friends and to be loved and accepted. It’s in our nature. We were created to love God…and we were created in His image so it’s natural that we should take on some of His traits (maybe not as many as we would like.) J

It’s hard to be persecuted and to be judged wrongly. It’s hard to feel unloved and unaccepted by the world. Sometimes it makes us think we are alone…and we can’t figure out *why* God let’s us feel that way. The words in John were spoken by Christ right as the Pharisees were planning to kill Him. (11:45-57) The world hated Him, so it shouldn’t be all that surprising that the world isn’t real fond of a true Christian. The world’s hatred of Jesus was a sin against God…Since Christ and the Father are one, those who hate Christ hate the Father.

It is really hard to know what to do when we get those all too human emotions rolling because someone said or did something hurtful to us and made us feel persecuted or like an outcast. On one hand, we might want to curl up and cry or lash out…on the other hand, we are Christians and we know that we should follow Christ and turn our other cheek….and forgive. Let’s move on in this passage to see what else our risen Lord and Saviour has to say about rejection.

26 – “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me.

27 –And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”

We all know what happens when you trap a wild animal into a corner. It goes, well, wild! Do you remember the churning feeling from sitting in a pew in church listening to a preacher *before* you knew Christ? It probably ranged any where from mild discomfort to thoughts of, “Yeah, well…he doesn’t know what I’m going through,” or “Sure he says that but we all know he doesn’t really practice what he preaches.” Or, for people like me, I felt all of the above before coming to Jesus. Now, why did we act out in such a fashion? Because of what the preacher said. We had feelings of *conviction*. We felt cornered…our sinful nature led us to lash out. Let me tell you right now, friend, the people that persecute you and belittle you are being *convicted* by God as you spread His message. The Holy Spirit gets on them and gets them in a corner. The automatic instinct is to lash out…just like a cornered animal.

Now, I am sure some would say that since God made us that maybe we’ve all been with God since “the beginning”. I know when I feel persecuted (which is a lot lately – Praise the Lord for starting to convict people and send them on the right path even if it does mean discomfort to me…it’s nothing compared to what Christ did for me), I see verse 27 as being with God since we first started teaching His messages and goodness. Isn’t that a great thought? God is always with us.. We may still feel hurt or persecuted…but Christ had feelings too. Jesus was persecuted too…He went so far as to die for us. And He is with us when we spread His message. He is with us no matter how it is received. The Holy Spirit can comfort and guide us in the most trying times. Keep living righteously in Christ, my friends. It may be uncomfortable here but it won’t be long until we are with Christ on streets of gold and worshipping Him for always. Isn’t that a wonderful thought?

If you need prayer or just a friendly ear, know that I am here for you…stay strong in God and live to glorify Him!

Pondering about the rain...

I love the rain... I love it so much that no matter how hard or how cold, I never use an umbrella for myself.

I love the way it feels dropping onto my face - the cool sensation and the very fact that it is from heaven. Yet I wonder.... Is God crying because of the sins that I commit as His child or does He send the rain to remind me that only He can wash away my imperfection?