Edifying the TRUE feminine spirit

That's right - the TRUE feminine spirit... Not what the WORLD says we should be but what GOD *made* us to be!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Boot Camp Kick in the Butt Time...

I am really concerned with what I feel is a lack of respect for our husbands - not just on this list but in real life as well. I know, I know...a lot of you are thinking (or yelling at the monitor), "Well if my husband would just change this or that...if he would just do this or that...what about my feelings?" So? What about them? You cannot pick and choose what parts of the Bible to obey. You want him to change? Then YOU change. Sure, he probably was more attentive to you when you were just dating or courting but you know something? You were more attentive to his needs then too. Men are simple: they want respect from their women, they want us to love them and they want us to feed them. You have feelings - men have feelings too. They just don't express them like we do. I guarantee you (from experience) that if you start going out of your way to please him then he will walk through fire for you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Submit to your own husbands as you would submit to the Lord. If the Lord lived in your house in the flesh, and He wanted something done a certain way you would do it, wouldn't you? You'd want Him happy, right? Why don't you want your husband to be deliriously happy?!
A happy home starts with us women. I know that some of you are thinking, "Well when I do something nice for him he wonders what I am up to." Who's shame is that? Why is it that he has to wonder that? Keep doing it and eventually he will start doing it back to you. Would it really kill you to just be as nice to him as you are to people you hardly know? Your best friend from church is sick - so of course you immediately make her favorite dish (or two) and take it to her. How often do you make your husband's favorite meal for him? How often do you just tell him that you love him?
Do you really want to know why he doesn't help you around the house? Hang on to your bloomers, ladies... When he DOES do something around the house (dishes, dusting, laundry) how often do you just give him a hug and tell him thanks? How often do you complain about the way he does it or that he didn't do it the way you did it? Men are not stupid - they would rather get yelled at for not doing it at ALL then get yelled at because they didn't do it YOUR way. He is NOT you...maybe his way isn't as effective as your's but if you want it done your way then do it yourself. I do ALL the dishes and I don't complain about it - because I want them done MY way. He helps with the laundry and I don't complain about the way he does it. I thank him for doing it.
When you do a chore of his does he complain that you didn't do it HIS way? Probably not. He's just happy to not have to do it. See, that's the difference between women and men. As women, we find it hard to switch between mommy mode and wife mode. Men don't like to be nagged - a reminder is fine but shut up after that! If it needs to be done THAT badly and you are capable of doing it, then DO IT. But God made the institute of marriage first and you are doing your kids a BIG disservice if you are not respecting and caring for your man.
You like to be complimented and appreciated, don't you? Well so does he! He is a person and has feelings just like you. He might not always show them but he has them. You married him and now is the time to be his wife instead of another mother.
Lord knows I am by NO MEANS perfect - and that's why He presses me to write about it.. Because I've been there and I want to save YOU some of the fights I've been in with my husband. If it wasn't for my Jesus and my mother in law, I'd probably either be divorced (because of the fighting) or absolutely miserable. As you can tell, I don't beat around the bush about much. I am straight forward and that's that. I thought, hey my husband is a man and he is going to have to just deal with it. But Jesus pressed upon me that I don't like to be criticized all the time (especially by my husband) and my husband doesn't like it either. He has feelings too and they matter to me MORE than ANYTHING.
How about you? I hope this boot camp style, straight forward, no non-sense email has served as a wake up call to those of you that need it.


  • At 5:25 AM, Blogger Coco Church said…

    HI there, found you vis BE,
    It appears we have a couple of things in common - the military and the fact we're both aspiring writers - I actually work as a writer and LOOVE my job!

    Nice to meet you!

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger vickie said…

    Good Job Robin! Sometimes all of us need to be reminded how important our husbands are to us!
    And you do have a Great mother-in-law, she is my best friend! :)


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