Edifying the TRUE feminine spirit

That's right - the TRUE feminine spirit... Not what the WORLD says we should be but what GOD *made* us to be!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Scary Stastics

There is a great article on this site about natural cleaners and where they are used at. It also has some scary stastics. I was on Consumer Reports today to and read some more scary stuff about cleaners. In 2004, American Association of Poision Control listed 125,000 children under the age of six hospitalized for accidental ingestion of cleaners. Thirty children under the age of five die every year from it. :( Forward this to anyone that is a care taker or a parent. We need to bring this stastic DOWN.

I am getting some of this. I know my kids are old enough to know better than to drink cleaner, but I do have a two year old neice, two cats, and a very very dumb dog.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Self Control

How can we submit to someone who is, at best, imperfect? By submitting through faith in our mighty God! As we submit to God’s plan in faith, we are “shielded by God’s power”. No matter how many bad decisions our husbands make, we are shielded. Yes, we may suffer some consequences with him but we will not be overthrown.

It is not enough to submit reluctantly or grudgingly. Remember the happy heart scenario? Would you submit to God grudgingly? I sure hope not. Remember by submitting to your husband you are submitting to God!

Let me answer a couple of questions that some of you may be asking yourself.

1. If my husband has control, does that override God’s control in my life? No. As the leader of our home, our husbands are to submit to God’s control as well - which brings us to another question.

2. What if my husband does not submit to God? Does that mean I don’t have to submit to him? That is just an excuse. While you are not responsible for your husband’s sin, you are responsible for your own. God requires submission as an act of obedient faith. He doesn’t require this so He can get control. He’s already in control. Pray for your husband faithfully to submit to God’s will.

The submission that God requires is not passive. It is active obedience and acceptance to God’s plan. How can we actively submit to our husbands and ultimately to God?

Read 1 Peter 1:13.

Look!! There’s the control that we so humanly desire! But it’s not control over our husbands. This control is more important. It’s self control. Prepare your mind for action by acknowledging that God is the ultimate authority. We must determine to cooperate with God by embracing God’s plan of submission to our husbands.

We must have self control! We can no longer allow ourselves to assume the leadership role in our home. Of course, we should be leaders to our children and maybe even in aspects of the church and community. We must relinquish our control of the leadership role of the house and set our control on our own attitudes, thoughts and actions. It takes discipline to submit to our husbands in accordance with the command of our God!

Don’t allow your mind to dwell on the possible consequences of what appears to us to be bad judgement on our husband’s part. Set your hope fully in God’s grace.

Jesus lives in us by faith. He is revealed to us every day as we submit to God’s authority. As wives, we are faced with a choice. God says, “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do.” (1:14-15).

Remember, the Bible says the devil only comes to kill, steal and destroy. If we sit around dwelling on the decisions that we “could have made a better choice” than our husbands, the devil is killing your obedience, stealing your happy heart and destroying you with worry.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Choosing to obey

So now we know that submission is a choice. We aren’t forced to submit but the Bible says we should. When we choose to submit, we are choosing to obey.

It’s easy to think that the Scripture does not apply in our own circumstances. Surely it can’t mean that we are supposed to submit to men that don’t look for God’s will or are not in line with what we understand God’s will to be.

Read 1 Peter 1:1-5. When we read this, we realize that this passage was written especially for us when our husbands are not Christians or fail to make decisions in line with God’s direction. After all, it does say that we can win over our husband without words. If a man already has a strong walk with God, he doesn’t need much “winning over.”

Do you truly understand that verse? If so, you need to prepare to make some changes in your own life.

To understand what the Bible means by, “In the same way,” we have to start at the beginning of the verse.

Re-read verses 1 and 2. Did you notice that this Scripture was written for those who have accepted Christ as Saviour and Lord?

Note that first we were “chosen”. From the beginning, the God who had all knowledge of the situations we would face in our marriages today chose you and me!

What were we chosen for?

Obedience. Since we are chosen, we are faced with an immediate choice. Will we choose to be obedient or disobedient to God’s Word and will? Are you willing to obey what God shows you? That is what really matters. It’s not a question of whether or not our husbands are capable or worthy of leadership or whether or not we think we could do a better job. Those things are for God to decide.

If we are unwilling to submit to God here, at the foundation of this call, who are we to even dare judge our husbands for their failures in the leadership areas God has called them to? By choosing not to submit to our husbands in the ways God ordained, we then choose to rebel against God’s design for us.

The next thing we were chosen for is “sprinkling by his blood”. The blood of Jesus gives us the power to overcome and rescue ourselves from the wrong choices we have made. God knew we would fail in obedience at times. He chose us for forgiveness and for redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Submission is a difficult choice God has called us to make. Commitment is never easy. We have to work hard to get the things we want. School is not easy. Getting a degree is not easy. Sometimes, following God is not easy. Child birth is not easy. Marriage is not easy. Do you know what all of these difficulties have in common? The end result is worth it. Finishing school was worth it. Getting a degree to further a career was worth it. Following God is worth it. That sweet little newborn was worth the pain of child birth. Our marriages and our husbands are worth it.

Submission brings the richness of God’s protection and a blessing that will free you in a way that nothing else can. It keeps you from feeling obligated to say yes everytime someone asks you to do something. You can tell them not only do you need to pray about it but you need to talk it over with your husband. Look at Biblical submission and how those in authority are supposed to love and care for those in submission. It is a wonderfully protected and cherished position.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Play nice!

Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.

As Christians, we ALL need to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with EVERYONE. We need to bear with our husband and try to get along with him at all times. We need to be forgiving and loving. Even if your husband is not a Christian, you are NOT exempt from living your life according to God’s Word. Be an example of God’s love. Strive to live your life as a godly example.

Read 1 Peter 3:1-6. Oooh, submission. That’s a tough one. Or at least, we try to make it tough. It’s really not. We are to submit to our husbands as we submit to God. And I must reiterate: you do not have to submit to abuse or illegal activity.

It is with our attitudes (remember – happy hearts!) and our actions (striving to live a life according to God’s Word) that we can convince our husbands. We don’t have to say a word. Our quiet spirits will say enough.

Remember, to be an outstanding disciple of Christ is to approach life and marriage with the same heart attitude that Jesus approached everyone and everything during His time on earth.

Friday, April 01, 2005


Respect. To get respect we’ve got to give respect. Some think that respect must be earned. In some cases, that could be true. If you want your husband to respect you, you must respect him.

What stops a godly wife from respecting her husband? Pride. Remember what I told you earlier in the study about not with holding anything good from your husband? Well that includes respect. I know our husbands can be trying and sometimes down right obstinate…but that does not give us any cause to think that they do not deserve our respect. The Bible clearly states that we are to respect our husbands.

Jesus respected the men and women around Him. As His followers we should do the same. Think about respect this way: the Bible says that we are to submit to our husbands as we would to God. So then we know that even if we have difficulty submitting to our husbands we can see it as submitting to God and that makes it easier. Treat respect the same way. If you respect your husband, you are respecting God.

What are some ways we could show respect?

Ø Putting the needs of our husbands before our own.

Ø Going to him for advice on non-spiritual matters (if he is un-saved) even if we think we already know his answer. It is not respectful to assume we know what someone is thinking.

Let me give you an example. We were an Air Force family. We got paid twice a month. I am taking a course on professional dress-making and I can go no further until I buy some material to make a dress. But I also wanted to purchase a Bible study for my quiet time. I am a home-maker. My husband is a wonderful man and if I ask, I generally receive. I prayed over my dilemma thinking that we would not have enough money for both the material and the Bible study. I decided that if I must choose then, obviously, I would choose the Bible study. So I went to my husband and reminded him about the Bible study and asked if perhaps we could purchase it. He also knew that I needed material for a dress. He asked, “What about the dress stuff you need?” I told him that I could wait on the material but I felt that if we could, I really needed the new Bible study. He smiled and then surprised me by telling me I could have both the material and the study. I was elated and thanked God. So the children and I went to Wal-Mart for material. I found onde crepe on sale for $2.00 a yard and a beautiful pattern on sale for $1.74. God blessed me with my needs because not only did I pray, but I followed His word and respected my husband.

Ø We can let our husbands lead by leaving decisions up to him. The only decision my husband does not make has to do with feminine hygiene products.

Don’t get me wrong here ladies, that does not mean that I do not discuss things with my husband. I do. I talk to him about any decision that needs to be made. But the final decision is up to him unless it comes to car insurance because he doesn’t really understand the policy and doesn’t want to since he knows I used to sell the stuff. Ha ha. But I never make a change to the policy without asking him first.

Ø We can listen and follow his advice with a happy heart.

Our husbands have a lot to tell us and can really help us if we listen. Remember, the devil is out to kill, steal and destroy our joy. Our attitude is a decision. Get up every morning and rejoice in the day that God made and carry a happy heart. It is a conscious effort on our part (in partner with God) to carry a happy heart every day. For instance, my favorite color is red. It’s bright, it’s beautiful and it complements my skin tone. My husband’s favorite color is blue. If I ask my husband for his advice on a new dress (like what color) and he says blue instead of red, I make (or buy) a blue dress. It’s his favorite color and I am happy to make him happy.

Ø Don’t grumble or complain. It’s unbecoming and remember, frowning will cause wrinkles. * smile *

Ø Do not nag or argue.

That one took me a while to master and on occasion, I still do both. You are not his mother. You are his wife.

Let me give you some verses to read in Proverbs. You will see why it’s better to humble yourself instead of provoking an argument.

Ø Proverbs 12:4 – A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Ø Proverbs 19:13 – A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

Ø Proverbs 21:9 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Ø Proverbs 21:19 – Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill tempered wife.

Ø Proverbs 27:15 – A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.

We’ve all had a dripping faucet or a rainy day at some point. What do we do? It could drive us crazy or we could just ignore it until the plumber comes or the sun starts to shine. If it drives us crazy, we want to get away from the noise. We could just ignore the noise all together. I don’t know about you ladies but I don’t want my husband to flee from our home because my nagging has drove him to it and I don’t want him to ignore me either.

Make a list of ten things you can do for your husband to show your love and respect. You can make it a list of ten things you could ask your husband for advice on or ten ways you can improve yourself so he sees your respect. How ever you wish to do it. If you don’t know or aren’t sure, ask him. Ask him how you could help him out. Is there an errand he needs done that you could do to help free up his time?

Friday, March 25, 2005

Looking at headship

Okay - so now that we’ve covered a few of the basics, let’s get into the specifics of what the Bible says. The first thing that we need to understand is the authority that God set up for us to abide by.

1 Cor. 11:3 – But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Let’s look at this piece by piece. Head primarily means authority or top. But just because the head of the woman is man does not make us any less important. Obviously, Christ is not beneath God. Christ was God on earth. God is the head of Christ and man is the head of woman. That doesn’t mean that either Christ or a woman is less valuable. After all, if it weren’t for Christ, our sins would not be redeemed. I think that’s pretty important. Don’t you? Submission does not indicate inferiority but subordination. Just as Christ and God had different roles in the Bible (and we know this as truth from Jesus praying to God in the desert and in the garden) we have different roles from men.

God determined this order of submission when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. We were made as a helper. We were taken from a rib (which is in the middle of the body). We were not taken from his toe and we were not taken from his head. Some theologists view this as God’s way of showing the equality between men and women. We were not meant to be below (or walked on) man and we were not meant to be above man. God further determined it when Adam and Eve were disciplined from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 3:16 – To the woman He said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

If you haven’t already done so, go back and read the first post called, “The Battle of the Sexes,” I go into detail on this verse.

To be a godly wife, we must be submissive and follow our husband’s lead. If we want to claim that we follow God then we must obey Him. To obey Him we must submit to our husband as we submit to Him.

Go back and read Eph. 5:22-24.

You will read this from me a hundred times: to submit to our husbands is to submit to God. To submit to our husbands is to follow God’s Will. When you do God’s bidding (praying for someone or helping someone in need or starting a ministry or whatever He calls you to do) how do you go about it? Are you grudgingly dragging your feet and mumbling under your breath? I sure hope not! We do it with a willing, happy heart. To submit to our husbands is to submit to God. You should do this with a willing and happy heart. We cannot claim obedience to Christ if we are not following His will with a happy heart.

There is more to submission than being a “servant”. I know that’s what a lot of “modern” women think when they hear the word submission. They think it means being a slave or servant; maybe even being walked on. It is so much more than serving. It is an attitude of your heart.

Eph. 5:33 – Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

How do you treat the people you love? You like to do things for them. You like to show them that they are loved. I guarantee you that when you start submitting and RESPECTING your husband you will see a change in him. He will love you more and you will feel incredibly fulfilled. One of the keys to submission is respect.

We’ve all heard in pop psychology that before we can love anyone, we have to first love ourselves. That’s partially true. But we what we need to love about ourselves is who we are in Christ. When we learn to love ourselves then we can learn to love others with the same love Christ has for us.

Here are three verses I would like you to read and think about for the next day or two:

Romans 12:3, Philippians 2:3-4 and Romans 12:16.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


Submission? What does the Bible mean by the word, “submission”?

Let me ask another question: do you obey God and follow with His will? You do? Guess what? That’s submission. Submission is a positive thing, ladies. Now, let’s read some Scripture to get a better idea about submission.

Eph. 5:22 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Are we forced to submit to Christ? Of course not. Then why do we do it? We do it because we love Him and want to live for Him. Do you love your husband?

Eph. 5:23 – For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 – Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Well, that pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? We submit to our husbands for a couple of reasons:

  1. Because it is God’s will.
  2. Because we want to obey God’s will.
  3. Because we love our husbands.

We are told to submit to our husbands in the same way the church is to submit to Christ. Either way, it is submitting to a higher authority. It doesn’t mean you lose your own self or your life - but rather you are obeying God and begin to find out who you are in Christ.

Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary defines submit as: “to yield oneself to the authority or will of another” and “to make available”. I know what you may be thinking; that the word submit seems just so, well, medival and controlling. Then think of it this way: instead of using “submit to my husband” think of it as, “make myself available to my husband.” Either way it is a VOLUNTARY action. It is the ultimate act of love.

Of course not everything your husband may ask you to do is God-pleasing. If that is the case, you must do what you know God would want you to do. You are responsible for your own sin just as your husband is responsible for his.

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